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54. Stop tooting their horn, and instead start listening to those cypherpunks. Sure, they're a total pain in the ass, but they aren't stupid. Utilize them to turn your publishing business into a front for a money-laundering operation. Oh, the places you'll go...

55. Test readers' wits: in your next issue include a little GBN-style "Earth" Tamagotchi with buttons for "expand world wealth," "take care of the environment," "stop this war," stuff like that. Make sure it only gets one life, though.

56. Get Ouija Muriel Cooper to design the next issue. (Uh, you know, the woman who designed all those early MIT books like Negroponte's Architecture Machine. You did know that, right? Good.)

57. Put your money where your mouth is and move the production schedule way up and print the magazine in India. After all, if you were really so smart, your "Long Boom" predictions would be sure to work out, right? Hey, it'll take five years to get an issue off press, but you'll save a serious bundle on printing costs. And when your clairvoyant editorial content hits the nail on the head anyway, all those doubting Thomases will eat crow and your, uh, stock will go up in a big way.

58. Do a self-parody issue and see if anyone gets it. In fact, see if you get it.

59. Go public anyway.

60. Get out of the software development business. Sell off NewBot to the highest bidder, and scrap internal development of the content management system. It's time to focus, and managing code gets in the way of managing content.

61. If you can convince Joey to write three days a week, you should at least try to convince Carl.

62. Adopt a yellow table-of-contents stripe down the left-hand side of HotWired. Don't laugh -- CNET's selling more ads than you are...

63. Stick a server in Belize and launch HotWager, the HotWired sports gambling engine.


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